A Graduate's Blank

Graduate’s Panic




I’m not a panic person. But now that I’m a graduate, I don’t have any better words to describe my feeling I’m having right now.


First of all, I have tried and tried, so hard, to imagine, to visualise the picture of myself ... working. It’s not just that I don’t know yet, after an “extra” long period of being a student in institutes after institute, what job suits me or what I really want to do. I know that this is a common feeling for every brand-new graduate. For me, it’s totally different.



I’m not sure if my student life is over just yet. I’m not sure it is the right time for me, and just me, to step into a working life. Honestly, I really am looking for work to having a career and I know exactly what I want to do, but I just don’t see my future in my mind.


When I do things or when I am going to do something, I always see myself doing it. I even see what it will turn out like. I always see my future. But this time, I don’t. And it scares me.


After finishing a master degree last year I was thinking about finding jobs, starting a career of my own. But then I felt as explained, panic. I really couldn’t see myself doing it and I was panic on that. I asked myself, should I go for a doctor’s degree? Should I go for a trip somewhere far? Or should I be looking for jobs now, nah! Not now. I just didn’t feel it was right for me. Not yet.


But when?


Anyway, I decided to go for another master degree with an excuse of fulfilling my skill range.


I didn’t feel that I was doing the wrong thing, but I didn’t feel that it was absolutely right either.


Now, it is my last semester for the second master degree in Communication Management. I’m going to a graduate, again, soon. I am sure now that going for the third master is not for me. Yet I still do not see my future.


I’m being panic. Again!