25 July 2007
I’m not a panic person. But now that I’m a graduate, I don’t have any better words to describe my feeling I’m having right now.
First of all, I have tried and tried, so hard, to imagine, to visualise the picture of myself ... working. It’s not just that I don’t know yet, after an “extra” long period of being a student in institutes after institute, what job suits me or what I really want to do. I know that this is a common feeling for every brand-new graduate. For me, it’s totally different.
I’m not sure if my student life is over just yet. I’m not sure it is the right time for me, and just me, to step into a working life. Honestly, I really am looking for work to having a career and I know exactly what I want to do, but I just don’t see my future in my mind.
When I do things or when I am going to do something, I always see myself doing it. I even see what it will turn out like. I always see my future. But this time, I don’t. And it scares me.
After finishing a master degree last year I was thinking about finding jobs, starting a career of my own. But then I felt as explained, panic. I really couldn’t see myself doing it and I was panic on that. I asked myself, should I go for a doctor’s degree? Should I go for a trip somewhere far? Or should I be looking for jobs now, nah! Not now. I just didn’t feel it was right for me. Not yet.
Anyway, I decided to go for another master degree with an excuse of fulfilling my skill range.
I didn’t feel that I was doing the wrong thing, but I didn’t feel that it was absolutely right either.
Now, it is my last semester for the second master degree in Communication Management. I’m going to a graduate, again, soon. I am sure now that going for the third master is not for me. Yet I still do not see my future.
I’m being panic. Again!
18 July 2007
Do we consider everything seen on the internet real? If not (or not entirely), did we ever search for its credibility? At least, I didn’t.
It is interesting, alluring yet confusing, that the cyber realm seems to have something in common with what happening on the outside in terms of its representations, contents, and habits. But what about the differences?
The internet is not so much different from the media, I suppose. Because of the presence of all that content and the way information is manipulated by some “manipulators”, the internet as well as the media is the place where the “pure reality” is coloured. One example can be that facts are presented selectively. Not all of what happens are publicised, only what seem to be the issue are.
So, where are we living at this point? Are we living the true reality? What is the true reality anyway? And the most important of all, WHO defines it? In search of definitions that are pure and naked from colourings, are we sure that we ourselves are not colouring them?
Of course, no answers.
On the Internet
There are more for me about the internet, though. It is the most desirable place for people to go play around on. It is the most doubtful place of its boundaries, quantitative and qualitative measurement, and of it existence.
Yet this ambiguous identity of the internet makes it more and more exiting for people to go and surf on it. On the internet, the copyright is extremely exploited, yet the internet is continually studied academically as communication phenomena. On the internet, nothing seems to be taken as seriously, yet an access to the internet is taken more and more seriously. Organisations and institutions are now going “online”. And they count the internet as one of their official communication tools including official website, e-mail, e-marketing, online shopping, online store, polling, forum discussion, blogging, and many more.
There are so many things to do about ONE thing on the internet.
And the thing is it seems to be time consuming as well. Not talking about the fact that all these online activities requires a basic level of literacy and compatible access, in one day (24 hours), can a person tick the boxes in their To-Do for those online tasks? No way!
So, on the internet, what a place do think I might be able to be? We are now ON it already, but are we really sure of our paces taken and of their directions? Are we the consumers, or are we the consumed?