A Graduate's Blank

Graduate’s Panic




I’m not a panic person. But now that I’m a graduate, I don’t have any better words to describe my feeling I’m having right now.


First of all, I have tried and tried, so hard, to imagine, to visualise the picture of myself ... working. It’s not just that I don’t know yet, after an “extra” long period of being a student in institutes after institute, what job suits me or what I really want to do. I know that this is a common feeling for every brand-new graduate. For me, it’s totally different.



I’m not sure if my student life is over just yet. I’m not sure it is the right time for me, and just me, to step into a working life. Honestly, I really am looking for work to having a career and I know exactly what I want to do, but I just don’t see my future in my mind.


When I do things or when I am going to do something, I always see myself doing it. I even see what it will turn out like. I always see my future. But this time, I don’t. And it scares me.


After finishing a master degree last year I was thinking about finding jobs, starting a career of my own. But then I felt as explained, panic. I really couldn’t see myself doing it and I was panic on that. I asked myself, should I go for a doctor’s degree? Should I go for a trip somewhere far? Or should I be looking for jobs now, nah! Not now. I just didn’t feel it was right for me. Not yet.


But when?


Anyway, I decided to go for another master degree with an excuse of fulfilling my skill range.


I didn’t feel that I was doing the wrong thing, but I didn’t feel that it was absolutely right either.


Now, it is my last semester for the second master degree in Communication Management. I’m going to a graduate, again, soon. I am sure now that going for the third master is not for me. Yet I still do not see my future.


I’m being panic. Again!

The Featured Blank

THE FEATURED BLANK

A moment and a blank are not the same thing,
yet no one can assure of their differences from each other somehow.

Only one particular mind can tell which is that it is having at one particular moment,
or blankness.



More than just a hollow,
I feel a blank is a moment of fused confusion.

A place where occurs a choicelessness of facing so many choices on the table.



The mind is one of those messy stuffy places.

Yet a mind is often thought of as a kind of space rather than an essence.



This should be another kind of blankness.

Blank II

DIBRINIAN BLANK II

What am I doing here?

I’m not trying to define things around against “those” already defined.

But all I see things that aren’t worth their limiting prejudiced judgements.

And people around me are too creative to be kept in a frame of references of nothing but nonsense.

Human brains are built to be used not to be ruined by themselves and what they have built.

Trying to get into a comfort zone may be an essence of life but that only reduces the value that a life should have.

DIBRINIAN BLANK

DIBRINIAN BLANK

Are we in the middle of an era of questions?

Some might say no to this because it seems that answers for our questions are everywhere and they are very easy to find.

But why are we still wonder about things and why are still there things something that is beyond our knowledge?

Because (and here is the answer) things vanish and emerge every minute.

This is also the answer to why we are still wondering. Because when an answer comes out another question emerges at the same time.

Nothing can assure us of the end.

There is no end.

There are only points in time—the line that has no beginning and no end.

Time is not a circle either in case one might think it is.

Time appears when we notice it and disappear when we forget its entity.